Memories, sharp as daggers. Pierce into the flesh of today. [entries|friends|calendar] manson69freak profile.bitches.tess-space.vampirefreaks [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

i want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart. [Wednesday December 9th, 2009 8:56pm] so, just bought a 26" HD monitor for my comp. Woot. gonna be able to play the ps3 on sweet sweet HD. ohhh yeah. (wasn't playing it on full HD before, will be now! :D ) um. the boy. is amazing. and crazy. all at the one time. i'm not sure where we're at. but i love it. we're so perfectly dysfunctional :) told my boss today that i hated her. was pretty shit. gonna try and get transfered to another store. something closer to home, please. blinkie blink on friday with my hayleypants and stupidmonkey. pretty sure nate is coming along. reow. so wanna tap that. fuck. just remembered brendan is coming as well. hmm. that might be impossible. not sure he'd be keen on be flirting with other boys. hahahah. no. probably not :P well. i'm going to go watch coraline and then sleepy time. CMNT

things that i know. [Monday November 23rd, 2009 9:48pm] i know that there is so much more to you than you let on. i know that this could be something. i know that the way you smile at me, isn't how you smile at everyone else. i know that you hold back. i know what is going to happen. and i wish i didn't. CMNT

[Sunday November 22nd, 2009 10:49pm] when i woke up today, i thought it was way too hot for sex. thank god brendan has a/c at his house. <3 you a/c. you make everything possible. CMNT

[Saturday November 14th, 2009 3:21pm] the amount of penis pics i have on my phone is ridiculous. haha. i could start a porn site. CMNT

[Friday November 13th, 2009 9:00am] called in sick today. bec and i are gonna hang out instead. we have lots of fun plans then brendans coming over. he's gonna write my cover letter. he's forcing me to apply for a job at salon kittys. lmao. not as a mistress, as a receptionist... so i figure, if hes making me do it, he can write the cover letter. then going over to drewys and we're figuring out travel details, etccccc. gonna go over a few contiki tours and figure out which one we wanna do. ive got two in mind. spending two and a bit montsh over there. the contiki tour goes for 29 days. it doesnt go to spain or around the greek islands though (it goes to corfu, but i wanna check out mykonos and all the other pretty ones) so we're gonna do spain for a week, the greek islands for a week, then spend a month in italy. its going to be epic! CMNT

so like.. [Sunday November 8th, 2009 10:49am] i feel like shit. i've decided to end my friendship with alcohol. at least for a week. last night was fun. but it totally reaffirmed my belief that all males are stupid. convinced 4 guys that i dont really know all that well to send me cock pix. and they did. without me sending anything in return. they're so gullible, i almost feel mean. it was pretty amusing though, kept showing the pics to lesbians, and they were getting freaked out. hahaha. went through maccas in reverse, because rebels window doesn't wind down. it was pretty much the most amusing thing i have ever done in my entire life. the looks on the peoples faces of the car that was behind (infront?) of us. hahaha. friday night was fun. got very drunk. ended up with a trip to the er ward. then back to my place for sex. very eventful night. ... so. what happens when you need a rebound for the rebound? eh. CMNT

[Tuesday November 3rd, 2009 1:22pm] purr. so fully got my dom on the other day with brendan. was kind of awkward at first, i'd never done that shit sober, and i felt kinda stupid.. we went to his mums place. and obviously i cant just walk around in public in a pvc top and corset, tiny skirt, fishnets and hot demonia shoes. hahah. so uh, went there, and got dressed... and came out of the bathroom. i felt like a douche at first, but then the look on his face made it all worth it. lol. i tied him up to his mums bed and had my way with him. mwhahahaha. fun stuff. :D riding crop - probably the hottest ever invention. wont go into too much detail, maybe in a friends only post. but the crop and whip that i bought at sexpo were very useful. lol. no work today - yay. going to a naughty nurse/dirty doctor party next saturday. should be pretty kick arse. umm. hmm. i have something sweet to say. so i'ma do a FO post. CMNT

[Saturday October 31st, 2009 2:43am] fuuuuck. i want him so bad. argh. im not used to not getting what i want. whats worse, is that i've been there, and havent been there since. but theres hectic flirting happening. like, brendan came over to naths tonight, cause i made him. and he came out last night, cause i made him. hes almost shy to make the first move. i made him kiss me tonight. haha. it was hot. i wanted mooore. but i was on my way to the skatepark to see sean. lol. hes one of ze threesome boys. hung out with him and matt and a bunch of other boys + kailah for a while. pretty good night. was pretty funny when we were at naths. i was out on the front porch with petey. and then brendan comes over. and we're all just sitting there, and it was awkward for a minute, cause i've fucked both of them, and they both know that, but we haven't all been together since i fucked brendan, so um... haha. there was like a awkward silence. pretty funny. but then nick came out and it got less awkward. lol. fuckkkkkk. seriously. i want brendan so much. fuck! the fact that he acts so hard to get, when i know he's not, is like... arkjslkdjfklwere. way to make me want you! type thing. CMNT

[Tuesday October 27th, 2009 8:55pm] hahaha. oh god. i think i want him to be my boyfriend. reeeeow. so cute. not really. just. kind of. hahaha i'm so lame :) its not even 9 and i'm going sleepytime. laaame. cant wait for the weekend <3 CMNT

[Sunday October 25th, 2009 12:57pm] dude, i'm pretty sure i got fucked in the arse last night. cause my butt really hurts. lol. umm. had a threesome last night. lmfao. not going to say who with, at least not on a public entry. but uh. it was pretty rad. fuck they're hoooot. so hot. dude, i score the hottest guys! i don't know how. lol. went to berserk. met up with people. sean and jos ended up there, so i invited them to nicoles party, we went there and had a trashtacular time :D such a great night. saw cello jared. hahaha. that was kinda odd. um. drank alot. took alot. not sure how the threesome started. i remember we were going to go to bed, haha... and then umm... i somehow ended up touching their dicks. lol. it was hot. i love being the centre of attention :D' i called brendan this morning. asked him what he was doing, he was at some car show, then i was like "umm, this is pretty much a booty call" haha. so he's coming around later. 4 guys in one weekend. slutty? trashy? yes. and i fucking love it. 2 comments|CMNT

[Saturday October 24th, 2009 4:53pm] can't stop listening to Pussy! >.< Till saying "be my little bitch"... uh... YES! Fuck. He could do whateeever he wanted with me. Going to Berserk. Then to Nikoles paartaaay. So I'm bound to find a new boy to play with tonight. Weee :) Think I'm seeing my Hayley darling at some point tonight as well. CMNT

i wanna touch you, you wanna touch me too. [Saturday October 24th, 2009 11:12am] hahaha. so i hooked up with a boy called jesse last night. he was soooooo fucking hot. SO HOT! i think its the first blonde (guy) i've ever had sex with... hmm. apparently we've met before at gigs and stuff, but I never remembered him. Haha. Anyways, after shittys we went to nicks, and nick and el ended up going inside to sexytime. so we were just in the garage drinking and talking about music, he pretty much loves all the bands i love... yesssss. then i was like 'i've got lots of energy, lets go to a park' so i was driving around heaps drunk trying to find a park, with no avail. so we went to the graveyard instead. and ended up having sex there. hahahaha. it was hot. i was like 'i've always wanted to have sex in a graveyard' and he was like 'lets do it' and i was like, wtf... cause we hadn't really been flirting as well, so i didn't really think he was interested. like, i thought he was fuckin smokin hot, but i had no intention of trying anything. until he said that. lol. umm. now this is all good. all normal. nothing wrong about this.. until i tell you this next piece of information. i'm so ashamed... but his hotness was undeniable. he's 17. -shame- SO MUCH SHAME! i've never even kissed a boy that was younger than me, let alone fucked one. BUT HE HAD THE BIGGEST COCK EVER! I'm serious! Bigger than Aarons!!! I was like 'wooooah'. As soon as I saw it, I was like "your dick is way too big for a 17 year old!" he just laughed and asked if i meant it or was just saying it. BUT DUDE! i've never told a boy their cock was big before... unless they asked and i had to lie and say yes. Hahah. i couldn't believe it. after it, i was like 'i can't believe i fucked a 17 year old'.. and he was like 'i can't believe i fucked a 21year old in a graveyard, thats so hot'. hahaha. i remember when i was 17 and fucking 21 year olds was such an accomplishment. lol. then when we got back to nicks, someone rang him, and i was in the next room but could hear the convo, and he's like "i just fucked the hottest 21 year old in a graveyard"... so fucking funny. whats even worse, is that when we were at shittys, there was another 17 year old there who was also heaps hot, and he was my first target, we were flirting soooo much, but then his gf called him and had a winge and made him go home. booo. dude. i fucked a 17 year old. what the fuck is wrong with me. you dont understand how hot he is though. even you'd do it. pretty much the hottest guy i have ever, ever, eeeevveeer fucked. not sure what i'm doing tonight. sydney definitely, don't know where though. going shopping today. talked to arsehole ex. he invited me to go out clubbing with him. i'll do it. and fuck him. just to piss his girlfriend off. hahaha. i'm such a bitch :D yesssss. i love rebounds. the more boys i get attention from, the less i think about the other one. eh. -shrugs- stringing about 7 boys along at the moment. it was pretty funny. louise last night: "i cant believe how many guys you got going after you, i can't even keep track anymore!" haha. and el was going through my phone this morning: "duuude, who are all these boys who are texting you?" yep. ps- gosford boy and me are soooo happening. he promised i could get him drunk and pantless. suddenly, the fact that hes only 19 doesn't phase me. i was stressing out so much about it before. "i cant go there! he's fucking 19!" but i just fucked a 17 year old. so clearly i've stooped to new lows. ahahaha. its kinda funny. and also kinda hot being the older, more experienced woman. reow. CMNT

[Friday October 23rd, 2009 8:52pm] omfg. some guy i went to highschool with added me on facebook and started talking to me. and he didnt really remember 100% who i was... and he said... "you were the busty gurl with the cute arse, right?" is that what i'm remembered as? the chick with the boobs and the cute arse?! =/ i agree with the boobs thing... but the arse? not so much. CMNT

[Thursday October 15th, 2009 7:53pm] i can't stop touching my boobs whenever i wear this bra... they just feel so awesome. 1 comment|CMNT

[Thursday October 8th, 2009 8:23pm] im excited. friday: blink. saturday, i have a choice. - hostage for someones bday. - sydney fun - hanging out with brendan and playing racing games - drinks on oxford st with work people - the football - michelles bday dinner then out so far, i'm thinking either sydney fun, football or hanging out with brendan. can i somehow do 3 of them? yesss. i hope so. sunday: club 77! fuck yeah. going to see zar and skar. and my homegirl hayley (and hopefully miss roxx?) and like a bunch of other peeps are coming. so i'm uber fucking excited. fuck i love my job. i cant believe i'm saying it, but seriously, i do... i fucking adore it. it's amazing. i've never been so excited to learn before. especially when learning involves DOS based programs. uh. so. what else... boy gets back on saturday. not seeing him until monday. which, to be honest, really fucking pisses me off. but. whatever. fuck, i need a holiday. in the process of convincing brendo to sell his car and take me overseas. i don't think it's going to work. this job sucks in the sense that, i'm surrounded by travel, i'm just not participating in it :( i get so freaking jealooous. and the fact that i get such cheap flights and stuff ($200 return to usa, $600 return to europe, $50 return to asia - JEALOUS?! haha) that all i want to do is go somewhere. boooo. fuck. 1 comment|CMNT

[Monday October 5th, 2009 5:51pm] WOOOOOW! THE MOST EMBARASSING THING JUST HAPPENED! i took my jumper off, and my singlet top came off with it (had no bra on)... and i was like, whatever. cause i wanted to take photos of the scratch marks on my back and on my shoulder... they're not there from anything suss, just me and a mate mucking around being dorks. lol. and so, i'm standing there taking photos of myself, while i had no shirt on (boobs weren't in the pics at all!) and my fucking aunty walks into the room. it must have looked like i was taking photos of myself naked. lmfao. wow. embarassing. -sigh- CMNT

lets be honest, you know you shouldn't bother. because with me, it's impossible to win. [Monday October 5th, 2009 3:19pm] [ mood | horny ] [ music | that girl possessed - alexisonfire ] so, probably time for a update. tuesday was the most fun i've had in ages. aaron and i went through a gram of coke. it was hilarious. snorting lines off the girls toilet at shitty's. bet no ones ever done that there before. everytime we went to the bar, we got 10 shots of either tequila or sambucca. and we went to the bar quite a few times. so it's safe to say i was motherfucking fucked. him, el and nick came back to my place after that, and ze partay continued. haha. fun stuff! started work on friday, i fucking love my boss! she's awesome. she was teaching me all the naughty things that i should be doing, but are fun to do anyway. went and picked april up after that, and drove to the city. they went to maccas and i went to the hotel to meet hayley and roxx. so we got all prettied up and got drunk. went to blink. we all looked so fucking hot. there wasn't really anyone at blink, just a few guys sitting down, we were dancing on the floor cause a7x were playing, guys were just oogling. it was hilarious! all three of us looked absoultely amazing. i don't say this very often, but seriously, i looked fucking so damn fine. i'd fuck me :P roxie did my make up and hair all pretty! she's so amazing, i pretty much love you and want your babies :P xo so. danced some more. drunk some more. got bored. went to oxford street. meet up with roxx's friend fernando. who reminded me of someone i used to know, but can't recall who, it's still annoying me. went to some random pub up the road. SAW NATHAN FROM FAKER! BEST MOMENT OF MY FUCKING LIFE. Didn't speak to him or anything. But just seeing him made me oh so happy in the pants. Didn't stay there long, went back out, and went to spectrum, some weird club was on. fuck, NO ONE was there. I'm so used to going there when Hot Damn is on and it being packed. Sat down, talked band stuff! yaaaay. I remember a Cure song came on, I got heaps excited, and went up and danced. Then some blonde skanky chick was hitting on me, and that kind of scared me... Went outside, got sexually abused by some other chick. Lol. She was fun. Went back to Blink at about 2.30 cause we wanted to get in before lock out. Stupid bouncers wouldn't let us in because "we looked like we were on drugs" lmfao. Sif we were :P so that was heaps shit. i haven't not been allowed entry to there... in like... forever. went back to the hotel and had fun times. roxx left :( hayley and i fucked around for a while, went to sleep, woke up, felt like crap, then i drove back home, which was the worst drive ever. my head hurt. lol. I pretty much slept all Saturday day... Went to castros with Bek, Tara and Pania. That was fairly amusing. Miss Jamesface so freaking much. -sigh- He sent me a text on saturday night that kinda made me want to cry. I dunno, I've just felt really distant from him (i guess because he's in another country) and like, that text made me feel so much better about everything. Was from a Alexisonfire song... Sidewalk when she walks. Everything about that song reminds me of him, so him sending me a line from that song was just... 'Weeeeeeeeeeeeee :D' Can't wait till he gets back. I want sex. So much fucking sex. And cuddles! Soooo many cuddles. And millions of kisses. Yes. So, yesterday. Dave, Matt, Shane and went to the grand final. Fuck, such an amazing atmosphere. I haven't been to a grand final since 2001, i think. So 8 years. I completely forgot what it was like. Dave drove to lidcombe and we caught a train to olympic park from there. None of my teams were playing, but I wanted Storm to win, even though I motherfucking hate them, jsut cause eels were part of the reason why dragons got knocked out, and they knocked the bulldogs out :( So fuck them! Was supposed to go to kings cross after the game, but didn't end up happening cause f1 was on, and thats more important. i kind of wish i went though, el, lisa, hayley, sam and a billion other people were out. :( so yeah. there has been alot happening. today is rainy and shit. i want to lie in bed, have cuddles, watch a movie, and get sexytime. boy boy, be here now please. CMNT

FUCK! [Tuesday September 29th, 2009 2:32am] Big Day Out line up is lookin' sweeet! best one they've had in years. Muse, Lily Allen, Eskimo Joe, Dizzee Rascal, Karnivool, MOTHERFUCKIN PEACHES, Rise Against, The Decemberists! FUCK FUCK FUCK. So excited for these guys. It's gonna be sweet, so sweet! Now, for Bowie to be announced. Yeaaaaah. man, you so shouldn't have convinced me to snort the rest of that oxy. i'm so smacked right now... i just wanna paass out. CMNT

[Monday September 28th, 2009 1:16pm] rarr. so, bec had to pay over 5 grand of fines off the other day. so, she's not sure she can go in february to europe. which is gay. she said we might have to wait until june/july. which is kind of cool, cause thats the same time drewys going overseas. so we can all go together. but i wanted to go nooow. boo. also. vegas for my bday is definitely 100% happening. jamesface and ian, i'm pretty sure are heaps keen. and petey, shane, drewy and nath said they'd come as well. shane just came up with a great idea as well. amsterdam (again for me, granted june/july happens, which it will! and first time for him) for nye next year. that would be fucking amazing. jamesface is in amsterdam right now. rarrrr. jealous. i want to be there. i want to do something entertaining today. but i don't have my car until tonight. boo. someone come play with me. CMNT

[Saturday September 26th, 2009 1:40pm] going to shanes bday... excited. except that... i'm not. i have no money until tuesday. so i'm fucking pooooor as. GAY! shouldn't of gone to sydney yesterday. i spent so much. lol. dont know what i'm doing for drinks. uber lame. really fucking uberly lame. because i'm annoyed. i know i'm going to do something tonight... that i'm going to regret later. it's probably not what you're assuming it is either. maybe i'll tell you. if you're special and ask. this is going to sound... really fucking ridiuclous. like. i can't believe i'm even saying it. but... i really wish... that i could like... have a d&m... right now... with a girl. yes. a girl. guys aren't so great with the emotions. and because my emotions are all hormonal and... gay. i think they'd understand better. can't really do it with louise cause we have a fun relationship. and while i'm sure she'd listen, she wouldn't be able to relate. theres two girls i can think of that i would love to speak to right now... maybe i'll drunkenly call them later. what the fuck is wrong with me. emotions. AND i want to speak to a girl? something is seriously up. uh. so yeah. i just realised i can't drink until 6, because i'm going to pick brendan up and take him to the partay... hmm. well thats a bit of a let down. oh well. 4 hours of sobriety won't kill me. i don't think. what the fuck am i going to wear? i cant find any clothes. blah. 2 comments|CMNT

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